Unexpected Community Connections & Kirtan
Reminders to Listen, Look, Be Heard
The weekend before last, I didn’t make plans to go anywhere or be with anybody, which is super rare for me. After coming off of two stressful back-to-back weeks, I wanted to keep what was left of my sanity, so I did not commit to anything. Instead, I decided to be recluse, ground down, declutter, and protect my energy.
During our morning prayer, my daughter and I pulled the “COMMUNITY” card from the oracle deck I use daily. I had no idea where that was going to take us, particularly given our lack of plans, though I honored my need for solitary grounding and went to the beach, our happy place, to read, write, rest, relax and restore.
Only minutes after our arrival, I saw a neighbor and her dog from down the street and went down by the water to say hi to them, where I was surprised to find a shark tooth right between my feet. I wasn’t even looking for anything and there it was, just waiting for me to pick it up.
It seemed like some sort of message for me, as my daughter has been to the doctor six times in the last few weeks – five of which were dentist visits – which is part of why it’s been a stressful time. “Why is her tooth still hurting? Does it need to be pulled? Is this shark tooth telling me my daughter’s tooth needs to come out?” Questions started to flood my brain as my daughter danced around the sand, building a fort with sticks and her scarf.
You see, she got her first-ever fillings a month ago and had some residual pain, so we went back to the dentist, thinking her bite was off, only to learn they did a shitty, rush job and the two fillings have to be redone, as there’s a hole right in the middle of it. However, that didn’t explain the pain on the other side of her mouth - which two dentists and her pediatrician dismissed – so I made an appointment for a second opinion at another dental practice, which we were eagerly awaiting throughout the weekend.
With that said, my daughter and I enjoyed a few hours together in the sun at the beach and, as we were preparing to leave, she found some sort of bone. It was near where a family of foxes lived, so I was curious if there was a connection, as it didn’t look like a fish bone to me. She took the bone with her and we proceeded to leave the beach.
As we were walking through the sand, I mentioned the “community” card to my daughter, and how we’ve spent the day rather isolated. She said, “It’s okay Mama, just by leaving our house we are out in the community.” Her wise words gave me a sense of comfort.
Just as she said that, we spotted someone we know passing by the stairs as we were walking off the beach. It was Evans, who leads the weekly drum circles on the boardwalk right were Asbury Park and Ocean Grove meet. He didn’t see us and we had to put our shoes back on, but I’ll be darned if he didn’t turn around a minute later and walk back toward us. “I knew I was going to run into somebody here,” he said. It felt like we were supposed to run into him.
Within seconds of talking, we showed him the bone Melody found and Evans said he’d found two similar bones. In fact, he pulled up a photo on his phone to show us and sure enough, it was the same type of bone, which he imagined is from a type of fish, which would make sense.
Within minutes of conversing, he mentioned Barbara, who would help him lead the weekly drum circles. I’m not even exaggerating when I say a minute later she just happened to walk by with a friend, who I also recognized and know. It felt so magical we even took a little group pic to commemorate the moment.
Barbara said they were headed to a free community kirtan at The Holding Space in Avon and invited us to join them. You better believe my ears perked up when I heard the word “community.” Was this interaction on the boardwalk the community fulfillment of my card pull and prayer or am I to continue following this trail of cosmic breadcrumbs?
As we were standing on the Asbury Park Boardwalk in front of Watermark, I realized that was another synchronicity, as I’d met the owners of The Holding Space earlier this year, at a daytime disco at Watermark (and found them to be rather delightful).
As my daughter and I walked home, it felt like we were being called to community kirtan, so we had a talk about it. I actually resisted, but my daughter said she felt like we were supposed to go, so we followed her intuition and got ready to head out.
As we pulled up to The Holding Space, I immediately saw a beautiful soul I know parking across the street. She and I met only a block away from there at Seed to Sprout, nearly seven years ago, when my daughter Melody was a baby. I got excited, knowing this was going to be a beautiful experience for us.
After walking in, I see a number of familiar faces in the space and knew we were exactly where we were supposed to be. I immediately felt a sense of community and connection, so congrats to the cosmic crumbs for conspiring on my account. I often tell people that firsts create space for magic, which I’m reminded of daily.
Interestingly enough, although this wasn’t my first time in the space – as I’d held my first-ever art show in the same space five years or so ago, back when it was The Lion’s Den – it was my first time there since it became The Holding Space.
Also seemingly full-circle, one of the people I knew there is a fellow colleague / instructor / friend who I held an “Honoring the Womb” ceremonial workshop with in her space – The Heart Space – a few years ago. When they offered up the floor for the penultimate chant, I knew Danica had it in her to get on the harmonium and lead us, which she did.
At the end of kirtan, I left feeling such a rewarding sense of community that I couldn’t have imagined just earlier that morning, when we had no plans on the calendar to be with any other living beings that day. I am grateful for following the divine guidance and allowing these mystical moments to unfold before my very eyes.
Most days, especially as holiday season approaches and we are sadly reminded that all of the family we used to celebrate with are no longer in our lives (either by way of death or estrangement), I feel like it’s my daughter and I against the world. It’s so easy to be recluse and guard ourselves from future pain.
Speaking of pain, my intention was to get this post up last week, but the fourth doctor (and third dentist) we saw - who happens to be a woman, unlike the other three - not only listened to us, but quickly figured out what the others had so easily dismissed. The first dentist put a filling on top of a nerve in my daughter’s mouth, which is what was triggering the on-and-off pain she was experiencing.
With that said, I brought her back the very next day for an emergency baby root canal and crown. Though she was scared, she handled the whole thing like a champ. This is the first week in a month that she’s finally without pain. Can you believe three (male) doctors dismissed her pain, as if she was making it up?! Thankfully the female doctor/dentist listened, believed us, and took immediate action to help save her tooth.
As fate would have it, only an hour before her appointment, my daughter lost another baby tooth, which brings me back to the shark tooth on the beach. Why am I surrounded by teeth? When can we be done with all of these appointments? Is it safe to even write and share about this yet? Will I carry shame from not getting her to a holistic dentist earlier, or having the funds to have done laser fillings instead?
Well, she still has to go back to have the rest of the faulty dental work redone, but I wanted to get through at least one week of work and school this month to help catch up and catch our breaths before heading back to the dentist, so wish us luck for when we return.
Given all of this, I’d like to believe that whatever divine forces are at play have also got our back and will help to guide and protect us through the day-to-day ebbs and flows of life. I could have continued to sit alone with the nightmare of dealing with this situation by myself, but it was once I allowed myself to open up to folks in my community that we found an amazing new dentist who not only takes our insurance, but also listened to us, answered all questions, treated us like humans, and took very good care of my daughter.
On the flipside, the same goes with the universe. As much as we want people to listen us, it’s equally as important that sometimes we do sit in silence and pay attention to what messages we are receiving. From an oracle card to a shark tooth to running into people on the boardwalk, none of them were there by accident. Are you aware of the divine signs at play in your daily life? Are you listening? What messages do you hear?